it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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