margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
