Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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