hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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