Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
