i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think people are normalizing furries
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
