I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
