So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
