): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
