No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
