Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
