is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
