if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
