The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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