Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize