How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
