Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
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Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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