you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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