He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize