Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
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I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Congratulations! We have a period
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