I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
