Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
