This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The air taste purple.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
