Don't make out with my wife yet
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
