I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
