I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
