there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
