Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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