just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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