She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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