there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize