I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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