I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Say something about gay babies.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize