go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Jerry, you need to find god
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
someone owes me an orgasm
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Randomize
