How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So here I am, sexting at work.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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