Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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