I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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