i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This house was built for laser tag.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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