Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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