YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Randomize
