But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
