Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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