Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
