youre lurking in front of me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I wear drunk well.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
