i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
