Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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