What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
