That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
