It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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