I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The best revenge is premature balding
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
