i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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