halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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