you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize