I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
