I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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