i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize