Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
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I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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