Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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